MILK ON THE KNEES

A study conducted by the US National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute, and published in Arthritic Care & Research, is good news for you milk drinkers.

The study involved over 2,000 people, 1200 of them women, all with arthritis in their knees. Their daily dietary habits were recorded, and their knees carefully diagnosed every 12 months for 4 years. The 4 year study found that the women who consumed the most milk had the slowest amount of knee deterioration due to arthritis. As for the guys--fuggetaboutit! Milk consumption had no effect on men. Estrogen, the female hormone, is believed to have aided in warding off the adverse effects of arthritis. Also, milk products, like cheese, had no beneficial effect in fighting the disease, and the fat content may actually hasten the damage done by the disease.

Approximately 27 million Americans 25 years of age and older are afflicted with arthritis, but for some unknown reason,arthritis of the knees is worse in women. As of yet, researchers don't know exactly how or why milk helps. But whatever the reason, ladies, grab an extra glass of the cow juice and protect those beautiful knees. As for us guys, we can always hope they find a cure in a good bottle of aged Scotch.

MENTAL STIMULATION AND ICE FORMATION

The Journal of Occupational Health Psychology published a recent study that found that people who had the most mentally stimulating jobs were more likely to stay mentally sharp after they retire. The theory is that the harder the brain works, the more neurons it creates, which protect against neuron loss later in life. Jobs that require information gathering, analysis and problem solving are the most beneficial. Repetitive occupations, such as assembly line workers, provide the least stimulation. For those people, it becomes imperative that they engage in mentally stimulating activities outside of work. Card playing, reading, charitable work, and night courses would provide the needed mental challenges to keep them sharp in their retirement years.

Another reason I do not believe in global warming: Using satellite radar, scientists have discovered that instead of losing 21 billion tons of ice yearly, Antarctica is actually accumulating 27 billion tons of ice. Go figure.

WHAT IF YOUR DAD...

Since this is now the baseball season, I think it's a good time for some baseball humor and a  lesson in one of life's truths.

A man named Sam saw his  15 year old neighbor, Todd, wearing a Chicag Cubs baseball cap. Sam asked the boy, "Why are you wearing a Chicago Cubs cap?"
"Because my Mom and Dad are Cubs fans," Todd replied.
"That's not a good reason," Sam said. "Don't follow other people.You have to think for yourself. What if your father was a drug dealer and your mother was a prostitute?"
"In that case," Todd replied, "I'd be a Chicago White Sox fan."

THE WORST PIECE OF...

For many people, middleage means hearing loss. The following is an example of the problems it can cause.

A middleaged married couple were driving to the supermarket when the husband sees the flashing lights of a cop car in his rear view mirror. He immediately pulls over.  A veteran cop saunters up to the car and says, "Drivers license and registration, please."
The wife, who is hard of hearing, leans over to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The husband replies, "HE WANTS TO SEE MY LICENSE AND REGISTRATION."
The cop looks at the drivers license and begins to chuckle. "I see you're from Schererville, Indiana. The worst piece of ass I ever had in my life lived in Schererville."
The woman leans over once again to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The husband replies, "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!"

THE BITCH IS BACK

I have returned from my 2 week hiatus. My wife, Joyce, and I took a cruise around the Hawaiian islands. Needless to say it was fabulous. How can a cruise around Hawaii not be fabulous? All the ingrediants were there: sun, beaches, warm temps and costly meals.

We had originally planned to take this trip on our 50th wedding anniversary in 2016. The we started to think: At  our age (not that we're ancient) anything can happen.This blog is about the aging process and all that it entails, and our thinking ran along those lines. Why not take this trip while we still had our health and the money? Once you're over 65, unfortunately, anything can happen. While Joyce and I are currently in excellent health, whose to say what lies ahead a year or two from now? When you're in your thirties or forties, you can think long range--ten, fifteen, twenty, even thirty years down the line. But when you're the big seven-o, that timeline obviously shrinks, so that there is a modicum of uncertainty when even considering a 2 year timeline. So we said, what the hell. Let's go for it. Now we have some great memories, and great pics we'll be eventually posting on Facebook. And maybe--just maybe--if we're still alive and kicking on our 50th anniversary, we may just take our other dream vacation: East Chicago, Indiana.

RECESS

This blog is taking a 2 week break. I will return with more useful and useless information.

WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR...OR NEXT LIFETIME

The 2014 major league baseball season is underway, and as a long-suffering Chicago Cubs fan, it means another season of frustration and disappointment. And baseball mortality. Let me explain.

I have been a Cubs fan since my parents took me to my first game when I was 5 years old. We sat in the bleachers, where I cheered my favorite Cub, outfielder Andy Pafko. That was 65 years ago. In the interim, the Cubs have not played in a single World Series, much less win one. The mantra for Cubs fans has always been, "Wait till next year." I have  recited that mantra my entire adult life, assuming that the next season or the season after that, the Cubbies would put it all together. My confidence grew when the cash strapped Wrigley family sold the team to the cash rich Tribune Company. Better days were coming. Yeah...right. It was a couple of more decades of futility. Then the Trib sells the team to an investor named Sam Zell, who didn't seem to have a clue or the slightest interest in running a baseball team. Then Zell sells the Cubs to the Ricketts family, wealthy, successful and knowledgeable Chicagoans. Finally, local folks with deep pockets who truly cared about the Cubs. I was ready to start ordering my World Series tickets. Yeah...right.

Turns out the Ricketts took on so much debt buying the team, their finances developed ricketts. One of the most prominent, successful and profitable franchises in baseball became so cash strapped, instead of being run like a major market team, the Cubs were being run like a team from Tampa Bay or Kansas City. Since the Ricketts took over, we've had 4 straight losing seasons and attendance in freefall.

So here I am in 2014. I'm now 70, with another losing season looming ahead. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never see the Cubs in a World Series in my lifetime. And with that realization, my enthusiasm for the team has shriveled faster than Obama's approval ratings. I don't want to be that guy, who, on his deathbed, with the Grim Reaper hovering over him, says, "Wait till next year."

Yeah...right.